Primary Thoughts

Neil Mufson, Head of School

 

One of the key challenges in teaching children about respect, The Primary Day value for February, is encapsulated in a fundamental tension. On the one hand, we need to lead children to understand that all people should be treated with respect because they are part of the human family, not because they have “earned” it. Yet, at the same time, we need to teach children that the most likely route to being treated with respect is to act in a way that in fact earns it. Our task as parents and teachers is not made any easier by the cultural moment in which we live.

 

We all know that children internalize significant lessons from the models that surround them. However I am convinced that their observations around the issue of respect are particularly potent. Children keenly note whether we parents and teachers are courteous or uncivil in both big and small moments, whether we are accepting or dismissive of people’s differences, whether we follow rules or act like they don’t apply to us. Because even young children can understand the concept of respect, they are quick to absorb the way they see us speaking with others, responding to those in authority, and treating those closest to us.

 

At Primary Day we truly utilize “Beako’s Golden Rule” as an underpinning of our days. Probably few days pass without our teachers emphasizing how important it is to “treat others the way you want to be treated.” We reinforce the huge impact that following this rule can have both on everyone’s PDS experience and on the culture of PDS itself. Treating everyone kindly and respectfully makes everyone feel happier, more secure, more valued, and ultimately more engaged and more successful in all their activities at school. Respect is, after all, a fundamental part of any social system’s effective functioning – or dysfunctioning, as we see in so many areas of public life. At PDS, even though it may seem countercultural, we stand resolutely for respect and its importance in every aspect of everyday life. 

 

But respect is indeed a two way street. Even Otis Redding Jr., composer of that iconic Motown tune “Respect,” points out that “what you want” and “what you need” both flow from “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.”