Primary Thoughts
Neil Mufson, Head of School
Earlier this week I wrote to you about some of the steps we have taken and are considering at Primary Day to make the campus as safe as possible from intruders. What those steps don’t account for, though, is the human toll of the 129 mass shootings that had already taken place in our country this year at the time of the Nashville shootings. These horrific events may be short-lived, but their impact is eternal. Promising and accomplished lives are cut short; parents are left to grieve their incomprehensible losses; family dynamics and systems are shattered; lives fall apart; communities recognize that they are not safe and will never be the same.
On a more individual yet universal level, school massacres provoke parental anxieties about their children’s fundamental safety. Children ask fearful questions focused on how can it be that adults can’t (or won’t) protect them. What used to be unthinkable has now become commonplace. Death from firearms is now the leading cause of death among children in the United States.
A sadly interesting related piece popped up in The New Yorker last week. Entitled “After the Nashville School Shooting, A Faithless Remedy for Gun Violence” by Jessica Winter, the essay revealed the even more shocking statistic that most childhood deaths by gunfire happen in the home: “85% of children ages 12 and under who are killed by a gun are shot in their own home.” This is another reason Nashville’s U.S. Representative Tim Burchett’s response to gun violence was so stunning: “We’re not gonna fix it – criminals are going to be criminals. I don’t see any real role that we could do other than mess things up, honestly.” While whether school shooters are “just” criminals is questionable, what is his personal solution? Homeschooling his daughter, which leads Winter to ask, “Is homeschooling the right decision for parents who wish for their children not to be shot dead at school?” In fact, the statistics show that “homeschooled children are a higher risk for abuse and neglect, partly because they have less contact with mandated reporters such as teachers and social workers.” Being schooled at home is not causally linked to abuse or being at a higher risk for dying by gunfire, but all the data underscore how far off kilter our society has become.
Concrete ways of empowering your children to overcome some of the side effects of our nation’s constant gun violence are contained in the following resources and links from NAIS (National Association of Independent Schools). Though I seem to be circulating these tips with greater and greater frequency, they point to ways parents can assert some power amidst all the inaction, discord, hopelessness, and irresponsibility of today’s political climate. Primary Day’s world of Beako’s Golden Rule seems strangely removed from, yet perfectly apt for, the reality of America in 2023.
Helping Children Cope with Tragedy
· Talking to Children About Tragedies (American Academy of Pediatrics)
· Helping Kids After a Shooting (American School Counselor Association)
· Promoting Compassion and Acceptance in Crisis (National Association of School Psychologists)
Media Consumption
· Children and the News (American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry)
· Explaining the News to Our Kids (Common Sense Media)
· Helping Children Cope with Frightening News (Child Mind Institute)